But you don't even know me

Have you ever experienced someone NOT like you despite the fact that they have never met you?

How did that work for you?

Did you feel upset, hurt, angry?

Do the thoughts WTF, is she/he serious , who the hell does she/he think they are cross your mind?

Your right, it is hurtful and it would upset you. And with any kind of pain or hurt, there will come anger.

But there is something very powerful that you can learn - that will help you move past this issue.

Recently I ran into the ex wife of an ex boyfriend for the very first time. I had never ever met the woman and thought if I ever did that I would be happy and comfortable in her company. I felt no ill will toward her and honestly had no reason to.

It was only recently I came face to face with her after my ex and I became friends again - a good year after we broke up. My ex and I are now friends, and with that we are thankfully behaving more like friends than we did when we were in a relationship. The reason why I ended that particular relationship was because I wasn't treated even like a friend when we were dating, I was the dirty little hidden girlfriend and second best to the ex wife.

So, if anyone really had a bone to pick - it would have been me.

But I don't. I have dealt with my resentments and I have moved on. I have the tools of recovery. And one of those very tools that I have learnt is learning not to care about someone else's issue.

Because I now have in my mind very clearly - 'What someone else thinks of me is none of my business', I can not stress about it beyond a day or so.

So if she dislikes me - then that is not my issue. If she choses to have a negative emotion in her, then its not my issue. Quite simply I can only pray for her and wish her well. And I can hand over any worry, hurt or disappointment to my Higher Power and ask him to love her and bring her peace.

Sure, it bites to see someone so blatantly dislike me, especially because she is the mother of the children of the man that I care for. I have done nothing against her and I am not a nasty or bad person.

But I feel so blessed to have learnt this tool of recovery and I hope that by sharing this with you, you too can be empowered to move on when someone throws some shade on you.