FUN
Ok so I was initially
triggered this morning. Was in shower and Steve was feeling tired and flat and
mentioned he needs some fun in his life.
I then asked
him “what sort of fun do you want?” and his reply was mirrored back to me “what
sort of fun do you like?”
At first I
was really annoyed and frustrated that he just turned it around and didn’t even
answer me . I then went into feeling lesser than and thinking ‘I’m not fun!’
and ruminated over what sort of fun life he must have had, with his parents on
holidays and his adult life before me and then I really felt lesser than . But
then I started the think – wait -hang on. We are all responsible for our own
fun. We will all have different ideas of fun. And I realised how in the past I
used to go on and on about not having fun and I was projecting. As in, I was
throwing that at him to imply he was not making me have fun. And that was wrong
of me. If I want fun, I need to make fun with me first and foremost. I need to
feel happy with me and explore and find things in life that I find fun. Open my
mind. I can see my whole life I have been so in my head that I haven’t had the
chance to be open to fun. So I am going to start exploring it now. I am curious
what people find as fun. And what brings them joy . I do feel enlightened a bit
more about this because I have stopped myself from feeling joy and fun in the past
and I don’t want that to happen anymore. I want to be open to FUN AND JOY and
that means it starts with me first.
