Love me, Love me not

"Do I need anyone to love me?" A question I ask myself - Is it something other people ask themselves? I really admire people that work all this out when they are young.

I want to learn more and remind myself daily -  love to give, not to be given.

Like, why sweat the small stuff. If someone loves me - great. If they don't - then it is their loss. If I love someone, it is my choice. In doing so, I want to love selflessly. Hard gig. After growing up thinking love is a feeling, not an act of Will. Is it a feeling or an act of Will ?


Better to have lost in love, then never to have loved at all

As I have gotten older, I am more aware of the impact painful relationship endings have on a persons uninhibited joy in new love. Tarnished, bitter and unwilling to put their heart out their again, they hold back, and loose those first few months of the wonderment of new love. They let their previous partners behaviour prejudice their outlook on women/men. They become sceptical about a woman's/man's motives. They ridicule the opposite sex and in turn disrespect themselves and their new partner.They are wasting everyone's time.

Personally, I have been fortunate enough to not want lose the joyful sensation of new love. Mind you, perhaps that could have simply been, new lust, because I am now learning that love doesn't happen over night, it takes time - alot of time.


Second hand rose.... and the love in sharing clothes.

Me in just another HMD
When I was a child, all I ever wore were 'hand me down' clothes, or hideous home made outfits (don't tell my mum that I said that!)

If they were cool, I was happy, but that was a rarity. They weren't the latest fashions and they were usually a decade out of date. I must be honest and say I did have some personal favourite second hand clothes and boy did I love them.

Then recently I heard that clothes, along with houses, jewellery and other things when re used, carry the original and subsequent owners energy. If it was bad energy, then you would be wearing it. Uggh !

New clothes are such a  buzz for me. Except that, the moment they are worn once, they are no longer new and they feel like 'hand me down' clothes again.


May the month of change

The month of May - PART 1

The month that everything happens, birthdays, mothers day, anniversaries, mid life crisis anniversaries and recovery anniversaries.

This day in May was the day I decided to start writing a blog.

I have been contemplating writing a blog for years on the thoughts, fears, experiences I have had my whole life, but always procrastinated. I used to journal and read since I was a teenager and then suddenly, 13 years ago I stopped. I had children, life took over and eventually I was loosing the grip of communicating my thoughts and loosing my grip on my present and my future. I was also loosing the gift of communicating the Queens English.

So thank you for your patience while my grammar gets up to speed. I will look back to this first blog one day and shudder at how basic it is, but we all must start somewhere. To do is to learn, and to learn is to do. I am keen to learn.

This blog is for a few purposes.

1. to journal

2. to help dispel long held beliefs that being skinny makes you happy

3. to share my struggles

4. to share my search for peace & serenity

5. to reassure those who also feel the same that they are not alone

6. to motivate those who feel its "just too hard"

7. to record my journey of growth

8. to support others that feel frustrated with their negative controlling mind

9. to get with the times

10. To show my kids I am not a technical dinosaur

11. To broaden my mind

Wish me luck.