One of the great discoveries for someone with a busy mind like mine, is Blogging.... it gets all the crap out of my head.
The second best thing about blogging for me is typing out what is in my head. Onto the computer. Because, thank God, one of the few things I learnt in College (Private High School in Australia) - was touch typing. And because I can type fast, I can type as quickly as the thoughts come out.
Funny when I think about it. I thought Secondary school was a waste of time, but when I do stop and reflect, I learnt alot in those 4 years I was there.
Here are some of the things I learnt:
1. Italian girls aren't bitches in the teenage years (well 80's Italian girls weren't)
2. Sewing was fun and I have really good sewing skills
3. Don't talk when you cook. Because you will spit in your food ( thanks Mrs Western!)
4. Madonna is a legend (that still stands)
5. Touch typing - I'm killing it ! I love seeing people's reactions when they think I am as daft as the next blonde and I whip up a storm on my keyboard.
Okkkeeee. I got super side tracked there. The purpose of today's blog is to get out of my head a long standing list. For a grown up, the most important list I should ever have. A list I never thought to put together, never really put any thought into and never understood any reason to have it.
Time and people constantly remind me I MUST have this list. This list is going to grow. Which means this BLOG is going to grow. But you know what, I am growing too, so it is only natural that the list is going to grow as I do. So here is the list today - the 18th of October, 2015.
Here goes. This is the list of what I want in a relationship, would I say what I want in a man, no because I don't want to box myself in (pardon the pun). So, its what I want in a companion - in the second half of my gloriously interesting life.
Natural. Pleasant. Comfortable. Independent. Thoughtful. Kind. Loves animals. Doesn't litter. Considerate. Sensitively tuned. Patient.
Today I want to find a friend. Someone that takes the time to ask me how my day/week was and to listen with interest and involvement. Someone who is patient enough to let our friendship evolve but also knows in their heart, that they want it to evolve. Someone who understands that only time will melt my frozen heart, time, caring, understanding. Someone who completely understands I want to be loved for the little girl in me, the woman in me and the person in me. Not for my body, for my sexuality, for my security. Someone that loves to explore the sum of all possibilities with me. Someone who respects my role and my responsibility as a mother, daughter and friend. Someone that I am inspired enough not to whine to, but share only positive experiences with. Someone that encourages and supports my need for gratitude. Someone that is cuddly, loving and sweet. Someone that has only eyes for me. Who sees in me something that makes them feel loved, content, joyful, grateful, happy and special. Someone that is proud of all that I achieve, of all that I try to achieve and for all the successes in my life. Someone that loves to read with me, and without a word, exudes presence, comfort and warmth. But most importantly, communication is so important. Few words, but effective words. Where we can express needs, wants, desires and yet not over complicate anything.
Added 20 October: That he be resourceful, and good with his hands, able to throw together a chook shed, fix something that is broken. To be able to work alongside my on my property or at his property/home. Share fixing and building and updating.
Right now, I am just so grateful that I am able to put in to words the person that will come into my life. Because I know it will happen. It might not happen tomorrow, or next week, but I know that special person will come into my life.
Because I have put it out there. And when you do that, it will come. It will manifest. Its is like if you think negative thoughts, negative things will happen.
My world is different now. I now have male friends that respect me and care for me. I now have female friends that are really friends. And I am becoming the woman I always wanted to be.
As you may have read in my past posts, it's been a long hard journey, but I have faith in my higher power, and the love that I feel has helped me move away from falling into emotional land mines.
I now recognise when a man is not available and as much as I am happy to offer a friendship, I know now that to offer anymore is really not worth it.
And in the words of Meryl Streep recently:
“I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me.
I am excited for what positive thoughts will bring me. Share in my excitement. I wish you nothing but joy also.