Living with addiction is a tough contract. One day at a time they told me and they sure aren't wrong.
They - being recovery groups. So each day I am living with addiction, and some days I don't notice,
but some days I really really feel it nipping at my ankles.
So I have to remember to never let my guard down, try and keep boundaries and bottom lines and try and stay single.
Because one of my addictions is Love Addiction.
I can't stay out of intimacy. But In To Me I Must See sooner or later. And here is my chance again. I ran the gauntlet for 3 months and found an old love. And flogged that dead horse/ strangfled a dead cat. True to the old saying you cant expect different results if you are doing the same things.
So here I go, just for something different, the count is on again. I am singe. Day 3 and I am rocking it the second time in less that 6 months. And this time, I am not giving this up for anyone. I am going to be romancing myself and my Higher Power. It is a new relationship with the HP. He is one amazing being. He makes me feel whole. He doesn't mess with my head. When I talk to him I feel so solid and content. When I feel bullied or left out, I talk to him and he helps me to feel wanted and loved again. He trusts me, he does not shame me, he accepts me with so much unconditional love. And that is something I need to remember every single day. The love and acceptance. And most importantly the forgiveness.
I was buried in my addiction and rather than be buried to die, I am buried in the ground to grow. Like a seed. Resurrection. And I am a forgiven soul.
With that I want to be of service, carry love, forgiveness and acceptance. And to be humble. If someone is not kind or good or loving I need to feel compassion for them.
And I will now move forward, start my week feeling whole and wish my love his peace and love.