WOW what a good distraction this blog is proving to be. Writing writing writing, that what I have been doing. There is also alot I don't post. Lately it has been heavy ... but that is where my life is at. Swimming through the muck.
Right now amongst all the muck are three little gems ~ Monika Sea, Isabella, and Herbert.
The reason why I exist.
The most precious time in my life was when they were little little children. They were precious little people. 3 incredibly different personalities. But they all adored each other. And every year I see a different relationship dynamic with the three of them. Right now Moni and Jasper Skype every week, for hours on end. That beautiful cherub who I used to wheel around in the West End in Vancouver is now at Uni in Melbourne - WOW.. I miss those days, 19 years ago. When we used to sit on the floor in our one bedroom apartment, listen to music and sing for hours. My little PA. Forever helping me, sorting me out, filling out forms for me. Just the cutest little mum for her big mum. I miss that. I miss that helpful little girl. Now she is getting High Distinctions. Far surpassing both her parents acedemically .
Then there was Issy - tea parties, precious painting and drawing. My little day dreamer. The princess of the family. She would sniff out chocolate before she could walk or talk. She was crazy for it. She still inhales a jar of Nutella in two sittings.
She used to want to grow up and be just like me. Now I want to grow up and be like her.
She broke up from her first boyfriend right between Christmas (her birthday) and New Years. Possibly the worst time.
Its September. That girl is rocking it. Barely a tear, barely a wobble. She never looked back... well she did a few times. But boy, what kid. Talk about embracing life. Talk about embracing friendships.Talk about taking on the world.
As I was riding home on my bike from work today, feeling so bloody sorry for myself. I thought of her. I knew she was going to be home and I was really looking forward to getting home. Because I wanted to tell her - "Issy, you have inspired me to stop being such a sook, you are inspiring me to smile again and enjoy my days. You are inspiring me to have fun again. To have fun with friends and do awesome things"
I may be 26 years older than that girl but she is definitely wiser. How does that work?
Well right now she is 17 and right now I am not the cool mum I used to be. I get the eye roll. So I try to sit back more and more each day and enjoy the ride. Its crazy how much your kids can change in the blink of an eye.